This Could Have Been Us

As the celebration of 233 years of Independence is now history, I thought it would be interesting to reflect on a particular attitude among us Americans: some of us seem to suffer from a cultural inferiority complex. We just assume that the general population of Great Britain knows a whole lot more than we do. Part of this phenomenon arises from watching too much British programming on PBS. We tend to think that the British far excel us in all branches of knowledge and have the manners of Jane Austen characters. The following are actual questions and answers from British quiz shows featuring average Brits. (Thanks to my brother for providing them.) These examples ought to put to death this nefarious stereotype concerning our intelligence as compared to theirs. If we didn't split from the Brits, this could have been us!

BEG, Borrow Or Steal (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.

Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.

Contestant: Leichester.

BBC Norfolk

Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with "What A Wonderful World?"

Contestant: I don't know.

Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: What do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant: Arm.

Stewart White: Correct- and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant: Louis.

Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song "What A Wonderful World?"

Contestant: Frank Sinatra.

Late Show (BBC Midlands)

Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?

Contestant: France.

Alex Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

Alex Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, lets try another question. In what country is the Parthenon?

Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.

Alex Trelinsky: Just guess a country then.

Contestant: Paris.

The Weakest Link (BBC2)

Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adoph Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what- prison, or the Conservative Party?

Contestant: The Conservative Party.

Beacon Radio (Wolverhampton)

DJ Mark: For 10, whats the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

University Challenge

Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandi's first name?

Contestant: Goosey?

GWR FM (Bristol)

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching then.

Phil Wood Show (BBC Radio??? Manchester)

Phil: What is 11 squared?

Contestant: I don't know.

Phil: I'll give you a clue. Its two ones with a two in the middle.

Contestant: Is it five?

Richard And Judy

Richard: What American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant: Forrest Gump.

Richard and Judy

Richard: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant: Er...

Richard: He makes bread...

Contestant: Er...

Richard: He makes cakes...

Contestant: Kipling Street?

Lincs FM Phone-In

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of the country.

Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

National Lottery (BBC1)

What is the world's largest continent?

Contestant: The Pacific.

Rock FM (Preston)

Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo de Vinci.

Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

The Biggest Game In Town (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant: The Magna Carta.

The James O'Brien Show (LBC)

How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth...Er...ER...Three?

The Chris Searle Show (BBC Radio Bristol)

Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?

Caller: Japan.

Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er...Mexico.

Paul Wappat (BBC Radio Newcastle)

Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant: (long pause) Fourteen days.

Daryl Denham's Drivetime (Virgin Radio)

Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland?

Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?

Daryl Denham (helpfully): Its a bad line. Did you say Israel?

Contestant: No.

Phil Wood Show (BBC GMR)

Phil Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant: Er...

Phil Wood: Its got two syllables...Kor...

Contestant: Blimey?

Phil Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run...

Contestant: (silence)

Phil Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I ...

Contestant: Walked?

The Vault

Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant: Nostalgia.

Lunchtime Show (BRMB)

Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?

Contestant: Jewish.

Presenter: That's close enough.

Steve Wright In The Afternoon (BBC Radio 2)

Wright: Johnny Wisemuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

Contestant: Jesus.